Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Self-Love And Acceptance go hand in hand

I love and accept you now and forever for all that you are, for every big and little thing that you are and for all that you stand for.
I love you inside and out, for all of your strength's and weaknesses, foresight's and short comings and for all the beauty I see in you.

Who would you say the words above to? I would say those words to only those who are closest to me and to another in whom I have come to know and love fully. The person I see in the mirror everyday I see the strengths beauty and foresight that I had never until now actually allowed myself to see and can do so now because I have let go of everything that I had chained myself down with and accepted myself as I am in completeness.

And I have found that self-love and acceptance go hand in hand. Finding both of those can for a good many people a long road to that state of total self-love and acceptance, which can take years or worse yet some may never get it at all in their life time which is very sad because finding both within is a wonderful thing.

There are to be sure many keys to finding total self-love and acceptance but I don’t want everyone to be reading for a very long time so I will go through it in short from my point of view and personal experience as I achieved both in 2008 and moved forward more confidently since then.

So when asked if it’s a long road or not my answer is Yes it can be a long road but not so long because I have achieved that much and I believe that every single hardship I’ve had to endure was leading up to this and to a great many other things as besides that are yet to come, but as I’ve said a good many times before (and will continue to say) I feel that every hardship that everyone has had to endure was only meant to be a preparation for what is to come ahead of us in life, and for me those lessons rather they be hard learned or not, were in themselves well learned and I can now fully appreciate them for what they were and I am glad that I went through them because they made me who I am today and I trade those lessons for anything.

Though needless to say I have been through a lot of personal growth and development in the last couple of years and it has lead me to not believe in things that happen to us OR around us as being a coincide but instead only a learning experience, so therefore it is something that was meant to be and simply because I feel that things happen for a reason and that reason being nine times our ten for our highest good rather or not we believe and/or feel them to be so at the time but I know that is just what they are and knowing that I know too that whatever hardships you have to face you face them because you have something to learn and/or because you were not paying attention to what your intuition was telling you so it become necessary for a harsh wake up-call in order for your head AND yourself to listen to what your heart was trying to tell you, however in some cases like my own I’ve found it wasn’t such a bad thing after because there was a lot to be learned from experiences like those and then let them go because they are in the past now.

I feel that one of the reasons why we don’t accept and love ourselves in the first place is because we’ve come to putting ourselves down as much as those people in our life that put us down until we feel that we are less then we actually are and then somewhere along the way we start seeing ourselves as if from there eyes but it’s all a lot different when we start facing ourselves for all that we really are and it changes everything once you start doing that and when face myself and my weaknesses I started slowly to find self acceptance and I just kept facing my weaknesses (like indecisiveness) as they came to me and acknowledging them even though I didn’t like that I had weaknesses even though everyone does I just felt that I was less then I wanted to be because of some weaknesses, but it was as I said different this time because instead of trying cover it over and pretending that it wasn’t there, I started to explore them with the help of my ex and learned a lot about them, but the most important thing is that I acknowledged and accepted them as being there and a part of me rather I liked it or not what I found I really needed to do was to acknowledge and accept it as a part of me and work though it until I turned it into more of a strength then a weakness.

I feel that I also started to accept and love myself when I stopped expecting a lot of myself and before when I didn’t feel that I lived up to my expectations I’d start to get mad about it and feel that in someway I’d let myself down and the thought of that would make me feel so unhappy because I didn’t want that but I didn’t know how to do anything about it nor could I find a way to fix it either, although I never stopped once to think about what kind of internal hurt it caused to hold those kinds of expectations of over myself all the time until reading something about the expectations we have of ourselves and how it different things could be if we stopped expecting a lot from ourselves, so I set out to let go of the expectations I held over myself and soon learned that when I wasn’t judging and controlling myself as well as holding expecting anything of myself that I actually more then lived up and surpassing my previous expectations of what I felt/thought that I should be and not to mention it made my life a lot more fulfilled and easier because of it.
I think that there’s many things that people do that don’t make much sense to another but for some reason we do them as a means to sort of protect ourselves from what we fear outside ourselves will hurt us and what I feel is really in itself a more hurting action but we don’t really even know it when we do it, just as I did myself at one time with hurting actions that I didn’t even know was something that would hurt me, I’d always try to control myself or try to bury away or even pretend that those things that I didn’t like about myself weren’t even there, but since upon learning differently I started acknowledging and accepting those things about myself that I didn’t like and couldn’t change, but at the same time it also meant that I needed to acknowledge all of the feelings that went with those things.

Some of those feelings were fear, shame, resentment embarrassment and others besides, I had to work through them by acknowledging that I felt them one by one while feeling and knowing that it was fine to feel that way and then release and replaced them with forgiveness understanding and love, I also started doing the same thing with any mistakes I had made by acknowledging and accepting and forgiving myself for them and then releasing and replacing them with forgiveness love and understanding again.
Knowing that the things we do can not be undone so they need to be acknowledged accepted then they need to be released and replaced forgiveness love and understanding and of course forgiveness is one of the best ways to access self-love because forgiveness frees you from things that you don’t need to hold on to and only serves to tie you down in the long run and so in that respect alone once you forgive yourself and release your feelings you’ll notice what a light & free feeling it gives you.

So in wanting to have self-love and acceptance you’ll need to take loving steps and become more loving in all area’s of your life and practice love in everything that you do,
You know the quote “You become what you think about most” those are so true words so practice being more loving, first to yourself and then to others by what you say think and do. Think love ,speak love, act love and be love in itself if you want self-love and you’ll need to let go of a lot of things along with it such as self-limiting beliefs as well as controlling behavior just as I did and not to mention being controlling of others too, though of course letting go of that will be pretty difficult at first and you will have to work at it repeatedly every single day it is well worth it and in itself letting go of the outcome of things is one of the most difficult things I’ve tried to do so far in my journey to total self-love and acceptance but I deem me to be well worth the effort, so you’ll have to decide if you feel that you’re worth it.

1) Do loving things for yourself every single day, cause if you want love you’ve got to act love, be love, give love, receive love and speak love.

2) Act lovingly to yourself, in everything you do let it be a reflection of love.

3) Speak love by being caring to yourself in what you say and do. And do the same for everyone you know and/or don’t know. Always be kind and thoughtful.

4) Be more positive. Speak positively about everything and another important thing is to see the positive in things along with thinking positively
5) Live in the moment. The past is just that and nothing more and was only meant to be learned from and the future is yet to come and can take care of it self if you take care of what’s right here right now and not worry about the things you can not change.

6) Journalize. It gets everything that’s on your mind off and it’s a great way to know what’s going on in your head and it’s talking to yourself or someone else and it gives you great insight without having to talk to another person as well as claming your mind and body and one of the best things it does is to make your mind more creative and in turn give you more creative thinking.
Boosting your focus and help you hold your train of thought better also.

7) Take care of yourself. Look out for yourself the same way you would look out for family or a good friend and do things that are for your highest good and does not make you less.

8) Eat right and exercise. One of the best ways to take good care of yourself is to eat right and exercise. As both eating right have an effect on your attitude and on your health and so does getting exercise.

9) Explore your weaknesses with the intent only to learn and find ways to turn your weaknesses into strengths while remaining non-judgmental and always be forgiving loving and accepting of yourself and your weaknesses.
So that as you explore your weaknesses in an accepting manner and with the intent to learn you’ll find ways to improve them and you will no longer feel scared or out of place with yourself and/or your weaknesses, because you’re not being controlling anymore and you’ll find yourself a better person because you’re being loving forgiving and accepting yourself just as you are. Vs the harm it does when you’re coming from a place of judging you’ll find that when...”We are not open to love when we are being judging of ourselves and others.”
“When we are to busy controlling things, ourselves and others we are not open to learning or loving and because we are trying to control everything we shut off all else as a result.”

Try being controlling not only to yourself but to others and see how that makes you feel and how it makes others feel and how they react to your controlling behavior, then try being judging another and see how that makes you feel, because it’s more like your judging yourself rather then someone else.
And remember that your external world clearly reflects your inner world if your judging on the inside or controlling on the inside it’s going to be pretty hard to be anything else on the outside,So if you want love from the external world then the place to start is making some changes with you’re internal world first, I.e if you want your world to change you need to change the way you look at it, also keep a happy song in your heart and surround yourself with love and happiness and always smile even when things are touch because things can change for the best in no time at all and a smile makes even the worst things better. For me having a cool tune running through my mind has always been cause for a happy inner world and it makes the outer world a great place as a result of it too. So keep a good tune in your head and heart and keep a little sunshine in your heart too it always works for me.

Also you might check out Clive Harvey Fox.
The Indigo-Man,Author- Finding My Gift. Creator - Life Support for the Conscious (inspirational quotes) Teacher - RENA1SSANCE QUEST - the art of self-love (using MORE or LESS as guides) Articulate speaker.